You Finnish?


I borrowed this from Atlas. A virile, middle-aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.

Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?”
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, “No.”

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, “You finish?”

Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, “No.”

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, “You finish?”

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, “No, I’m Norwegian.”

What a week!


I’ve had a full range of emotions and attitudes this week so I’ll try to do a quick summary of the happenings.

The good this week is easy. I stepped on the scale Wednesday with great fear. I’ve been eating better but I don’t always eat the way I’m supposed to. I have been weighing myself faithfully every Wednesday and some times I’ll get on the scale on other weekdays. This week my new best friend, the bathroom scale, informed me that I am now 17o pounds. That’s 12 pounds lost in three weeks, I had gotten up to 182 pounds after getting put on high blood pressure meds. This has been a really bad place for me because in high school I see sawed between 115 and 125. Even after my third child I was only 130. This has caused me to have a lot of self consciousness. I am finally getting past that but I know that for my frame I am overweight so I am finally doing something about it and sticking to it this time.

Today I went to spend time with the girls and I didn’t realize how badly I needed to do just that until I was with the girls. We were supposed to see Magic Mike but the theater changed the showing time so I was only able to have lunch with them before I had to come back home and take Qiarra to her tutoring job. The rest of the girls went to see the movie. I was disappointed because I can’t take my boyfriend, teenage daughter, or my teenage son to see it because it just wouldn’t be right. So I guess I have to wait until it comes on DVD. I spent a few hours moping around the house so the rest of the family could be as miserable as me.

Finally, Friday was my exes birthday and I try really hard to be the bigger parent in the situation but he doesn’t make it very easy. My youngest daughter spent all week reminding me that Friday was dad’s birthday. She chose to post a happy birthday message to his Facebook wall. Now I am perfectly okay with this. He lives in El Salvador so this is the easiest way for them to communicate. I am all for them communicating. Now I know what type of father my ex has been but I refuse to ever tell my daughter, she’s only 11 and she will eventually figure it out herself. My son has already decided not to use the Ramirez part of his name and only goes by Brown. He has already asked me to make it legal. So today my ex did the thank you posts and even posted a picture of him and I guess his new girlfriend spending his birthday together. I’m happy for him because I moved on years ago and I’m very happy, my whole issue is that through all that he did not even bother to acknowledge his daughter’s post. The kids also had their birthdays early in the year, one each month behind the other. I went as far as to send him a private message reminding him of his son’s birthday so my son wouldn’t see it on his page. My ex didn’t bother to tell any of the kids happy birthday or even an occasional hi. Nor does he pay any child support and my boyfriend doesn’t mind but we should be married by this time next year and I’m faced with the decision of whether to terminate his parental rights or not. I think he might end up pushing me into a decision sooner rather than later.

Okay I think I’m done venting for now and I’m glad to have my blog back up because I’ve been wanting to post all week. Come to think of it I wanted to post last week too. I guess I had a lot to get off my chest.

What Did I Just Think?


I always thought that I have the most unconnected random thoughts but it hit me this morning that I was wrong. This morning I saw lightning and was trying to think of a really cool way to write that down. The first thing to come to mind was, “I see fire and I see rain.” Completely in tune with my in head singing voice. I said to myself, “random.” It wasn’t though, fire and lightning or connected, then I realized no normal person would make that connection. It felt good to know that I’m not crazy.

I had a pretty good day. I drove out to my old job (it only became my old job less than two weeks ago) to pick up my brother, his friend, and to discuss reimbursement for my gas. See they pay me weekly for my gas to drive my brother and other client out to the center. I’m happy to do it because I get a break from my brother. Anyway, I get out there and my ex boss asks me to come talk to him in his office. Since I left, they’ve lost a few clients, one employee had been fired, and another resigned before she could get fired. When I walked into the client areas they just couldn’t wait to tell me all the gossip. My ex boss told me though that I look relaxed and happy.

Lastly for tonight, while having my why me moment yesterday I typed up the last blog post. I very good friend of mine found and sent me some information on a question I asked. I had actually forgotten that some of my friends are on twitter. But to you Felix, I say, thank you for being such a good friend. We don’t talk often but I really value you.

My shoulder is starting to hurt so it is time to bid you adieu for today.

Doctor Visits


So a week ago today I went to see my doctor and have some lab work done. Yesterday my Doctor’s office called and said the doctor needed to see my about my results. I woke up today dreading what the doctor was going to tell me. After a two-hour wait the doctor finally comes in. She tells me that it’s great how I got my blood pressure down. Oh yeah! Bad news, my results indicate that I have arthritis. I mean really, I’m only 38 and why me? Could it have been worse, of course, could it have been better, definitely. My doctor’s first question, does anyone in my family have rheumatoid arthritis? I freak out because my daddy has everything and I don’t want another thing wrong with me. Now I’m waiting for a referral to an endocrinologist. Can somebody tell me exactly what those guys do. I have no idea personally but I’m pretty sure I should find out. Luckily no one in my family has RA. That is one thing that really scares me, I have a friend with RA and I know it’s a hard thing to live with.

So my goal for next week is to not have a single doctor appointment of any kind and to get plenty of rest for all the extra crap I know that I will have to do instead.

Wow, Its been forever!


I have been so busy. I have just been completely exhausted and unable to fulfill my blogging duties. I needed money so I got a job. Yay, right? Nope! I got the job and then didn’t have time to blog or read and it really sucked. The job kept me tired, sick, and busy trying to play catch up with everything that was scheduled in my life.

I did the only bright thing to do. I quit my job, which I’m sure was a great job because my blood pressure was regularly between 160 and 180. So now I’m back to no job but I have time, I feel less tired (face it I have three kids, I’m always going to be a little tired), but most importantly my blood pressure has dropped to between 115-120. Sounds great right? Of course it does, except I’m broke again. So I guess my choices are excess money and one foot in the grave or broke and alive. Darn it I guess I’ll take alive. I do have to go to the doctor and get my lab results tomorrow.

Well at least in the last week I’ve been off I’ve already finished two books and just finished a blog post.

Had a brilliant idea!


It’s Monday and Thanksgiving is around the corner. I wasn’t planning on cooking this year, well of course I was going to cook just not one of my usual humongous meals. I normally make turkey, stuffing, ham, green beans, apple-cranberry sauce, corn, broccoli with cheese sauce, candied yams, sweet potato pies, pumpkin pies, and about 48 dinner rolls. I’m only feeding 7-8 people. I think this might be a good year to get the kids involved with more than just buttering rolls and eating. I’ll start hinting at it this week and see how they respond.

Missing Missy (Found and reposted)


DAVID THORNE: MISSING MISSY
Published on July th, 2010 - Author: neave
Story goes : Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence…

Read from top to bottom¦.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Author: neave

I found this and laughed the whole way through so I had to find the source and give credit where credit is due.

I’ve been really bad!


I’ve failed miserably at the daily and even weekly posting. I’ve failed miserably at my weight-loss. I’ve failed even more miserably at putting myself first, even occasionally and my dog suddenly looks hilariously funny.

Let’s cover the first sentence, I’m pretty sure it speaks for itself. I haven’t posted in months it seems like something always comes up. My step grandmother died less than a week ago. My mother who lives with us broke her hand, the three middle metacarpals to be exact, a month ago. This could have definitely been an easier situation under different circumstances such as; a sense of responsibility, saving some money for her insurance payments, prioritizing, having an overall sense of maturity. Don’t get me wrong I love my mother but she is definitely a handful and that’s putting it mildly. She has always put wants before needs. She has been out of work for the last month and cannot qualify for disability. She has put nothing up in her savings account for a rainy day. As an adult my priority would be to make sure I did not spend the money that I did have and need to make my insurance payments stay current. Not her, on Friday I asked her how much money she still had left to put towards her insurance and she told me $50. She then has me ask Jaime for $50 last night so she can get completely caught up with the payments. I ran her to the bank today to deposit the $50 from Jaime. When I got home I look at her bank receipt and there was only $72 in the bank. I mean seriously WTH! I don’t work except to tutor a gentleman in his courses, which is supposed to be my spending money. It’s not though because she always needs to borrow something. I have my three kids and I would love to be just the mother of them, not them, my mother, and my brother. And the constant calling of my name drives me completely up a wall and around the bend.

I actually weigh 168 now which is even more than where I started. My blood pressure is outrageously high on a regular basis. Yes, I’ve been put on medication, yeah me! I’m sick too. I spent all of Friday in the doctors office because I had to get a prednisone shot in my butt and breathing treatments. So I’m on medications for that too and have to go back to the doctor in two weeks. Alexys is also sick and having to use her inhaler also, just like me. I had to rush to the high school today because her head was killing her because of a head cold. Plus Vonni just got over viral pink eye, which meant the drops didn’t work, their for bacterial pink eye, he got to spend six school free days at home with grandma, uncle Tony, and myself. While on my meds I can’t take my migraine meds so that’s fun too. Now that’s exactly where I’m standing health-wise.

Finally but definitely not least, the only time I dedicate to myself during the day is when I’m sleep or in bed sick. There’s drama practice, soccer practice, games, performances, and my childish aunt (my mother’s sister) who may not be childish but is definitely selfish that wants the family to come to her church class graduation just so she can say “look my family adores me!” But we don’t at all. She has yet to go to a single event for my children or even to call and wish them luck. There’s also my junior daughter who has all kinds of college prep stuff going on and has just received her invitation to the National Honor Society. I almost forgot about my step aunt’s guilt. Shes being overwhelmed by guilt about not being there for her mother while she was going through cancer and is now trying to reach out and make amends with my mother and myself. It wouldn’t be as bad if she didn’t keep trying to make these amends at 3 or 4 in the morning. I also didn’t know that amends were needed. We’ve had a really good relationship since she lived with me and my mom when she was 16 and couldn’t get along with her mom. That was probably about 15 to 17 years ago. I’m so glad it’s Thursday and this week is almost over. The amount of things that I need to do next week will literally be divided in half. You have no idea how excited I’ll be. Now I’ve got to go take my blood pressure, start dinner, and charge the camcorder for tonight’s WWII Living Museum performance for Lexy’s performance. It’s another busy night got things to do.

I think I must of a had whole lot of things that I needed to get of my mind. I feel a little lighter now.

The Boy and I


Within the walls of my house, while around his older and younger sister, my son can be a nightmare. He pisses off one of them then alternates to picking on the other all day, every day. He also manages to find the time to be disruptive and argumentative. Vonni also behaves this way when we go out as a family. Jaime says that Vonni and I need to get out of the house together so we can talk. Getting him out of the house is like pulling teeth. Whenever it’s him and I we never have a problem. I’m sure his anger management issues are a little to blame in the house.

Then there are weeks like these. Vonni has been awake all week when it’s been time to drive his grandmother to work and has chosen to ride with me. Every trip has been filled with his excessively long monologues that he finds hilarious. There funny but not to where you want them repeated for 30 straight minutes. the only person who can make me laugh more than Vonni is Jaime.

Today was a little different, I hadn’t slept at all before driving my mom to work so I was in need sleep mode. When I need sleep I talk way to much about nonsensical things and my mind wanders constantly. What started as a simple conversation about the puppy’s accomplishment quickly became very exasperating.

I was telling Vonni how for the first time Beauty scratched at my door to be let outside. He couldn’t understand what that meant or what door she could have possibly been scratching at. It took 10 minutes of breaking down each sentence before he finally got it. My mom found that hilarious because I often refuse to talk to her after having said something and then explaining it once. That was on the way there.

On the way home, red eyed and exhausted, we stopped at Jack in the Box for breakfast. Our very small order had us waiting at the window almost 15 minutes for our food. That became his perfect opportunity. He told one-liners while I laughed and laughed. Yes, I did see the looks all the other drivers behind us were giving our car. I don’t now nor did I care then.

Once I start giggling there’s no stopping me. Vonni knows this and kept going all the way home. It was a wonderful morning. Days like this more than make up for the less desirable ones.

My Pride and Joys


As if my son’s induction ceremony for the NJHS wasn’t enough, today was the awards assemblies for both my 6th and 10th graders. My son received a medallion and certificate for academic excellence; he ranked magna cum laude. My sophomore daughter is ranked summa cum laude, and received academic excellence recognition for world history, Pre-AP biology and chemistry (she’s taking both now). I think I finally did something right.
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